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Shared parenting can be an intimidating process for both foster and birth parents. Much like Child and Family Team meetings, preparation is the key for shared parenting to succeed. This requires advance planning by social workers so that all parties understand the purpose of the meeting is to discuss the care of the child, not “the case.” The meeting is not to assign blame. It is first and foremost about creating the best possible transition for the child. The social worker should be prepared to discuss how the needs and interests of the child will be recognized during the shared parenting meeting. It is also important to make a plan for if the birth parent may be visiting with the child before or after the meeting.
Before the meeting, the social worker should be aware that they do not impose their own biases about a birth parent’s previous decisions. The social worker should model positive communication about the birth parent to the foster parent and about the foster parent to the birth parent. Brief the foster parents about any birth parent fears or needs and help the foster parents understand these needs.
A social worker should facilitate an initial shared parenting meeting as soon as possible but no later than 7 days after a child’s placement out of the home to ensure that the partnership has a strong beginning and is supported by the DSS. Subsequent initial shared parenting meetings should be held within 7 days if the child is moved to another placement. Document if there is a family reason that prevents this meeting from taking place within the initial 7 day period. One example would be that the social worker could not convene a shared parenting meeting because the birth parents could not be located.
The social worker can ask the foster and birth parents where they would like to meet. A meeting site that is a neutral location and allows for privacy is important. Sometimes rooms within a neighborhood recreation center, social center, library, or child’s therapist office are good options instead of the agency office. Take into consideration the work schedules of the foster and birth parents as well as children’s schedules, especially if there is a need for child care while the adults discuss parenting issues.
Though custody of a child may have been removed from the biological parents, the parents may have had tremendous support from other relatives in raising their child. For example, a grandmother that has been the primary caretaker for the child the past 6 months may have some information that is essential for the care of the child. The biological parents may want the relative provider to be a part of a shared parenting meeting.
Deciding whether to include relatives in shared parenting meetings involves careful consideration of the following:
• Pay close attention to the dynamics between the birth parent and their relative. What is their relationship like and is it healthy toward the development of the partnership between the birth parent and foster parent?
• Consider whether the information the relative would provide is critical to the daily care of the child and whether the information is needed to meet the needs of the child and/or provide support to the biological parents.
• Consider the long term goal of developing a partnership between the foster and birth parents. Would consistently involving the relative in each shared parenting meeting deter from building a partnership between the foster and birth parents or is the relative an excellent mentor and support that would help develop a continued partnership beyond reunification?
• Is the relative able to provide needed information for the care of the child in another way other than being involved in the shared parenting meeting?
• Consider a discussion with the family that may give the relative other opportunities to be a part of the child’s life/planning such as involvement in child and family team meetings.
• Be careful not to alienate the birth parent or relative. Make sure all feel heard.
Both maternal and paternal parents should be involved in a shared parenting meeting. The social worker is responsible for engaging both maternal and paternal parents in the planning process for the child. A parent that has been referred to as absent or non-custodial may have more information than the DSS may have thought they were able to share in regards to the child’s development. Working to develop an early partnership that includes that absent parent may provide an excellent foundation for them to not only become more involved in their child’s life, but also may be a resource the child can reunify with and or be a long term support.
• Ask the question: How can the DSS obtain the absent parent’s involvement?
• If the birth mother and father have a tenuous relationship, consider facilitating separate meetings between each birth parent with the foster parent.
• If one birth parent is unable to travel a long distance for a meeting, consider facilitating a phone conference call or web meeting in order to begin developing a relationship between the birth and foster parent.
The safety of the participants should always be considered when planning to begin shared parenting meetings. The social worker should be aware if there has been a history of domestic violence between birth parents as well as if a birth parent has any history of violence towards others. It would not be appropriate to facilitate or encourage any shared parenting meetings together if there are any court orders including those imposed by probation and parole that do not allow contact between the birth parents. However, it is possible that separate meetings could take place with the foster parents and each individual birth parent at separate times. Document any safety concerns. Consider what special arrangements can be made to help everyone feel safe and comfortable such as:
• Choose a safe location.
• Create specific ground rules and expectations ahead of time together with all participants that are catered to the specific needs.
• If the meeting cannot be held safely, do not hold the meeting.
• Choose other avenues such as a phone conference call to facilitate the meeting.
It is recognized that foster parents have a need to know medical conditions that a child may have in order to best care for them. Re-disclosure of the information is prohibited without consent of the child, parent or guardian.
Avoid sharing information about the birth parents to the foster parents or about foster parents to the birth parents if it is not information that is pertinent to the child’s care. Inform birth and foster parents of the expectation that information that is shared within a shared parenting meeting remains confidential. Eventually, birth parents and foster parents may come to build a good relationship and choose to share personal information with each other.
Discuss any questions with your supervisor as well as seek out agency policy around specific situations for the sharing of information.
Reference Chapter VIII, Section 1428 , “Confidentiality and Release of Information” as well as Chapter IV, Section 1201, V, “Out of Home Placement Services” for further guidance.
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For questions or clarification on any of the policy contained in these manuals, please contact your local county office. |
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